Author: Amber St Laurent, MS, LCPC-Intern

The holidays can be an especially challenging time to struggle with body image for many people. We’re around friends and family whose opinions we care about, we’re surrounded by novel foods and body/diet talk…it can all be overwhelming! So here are some tips and tricks from an eating disorder therapist on how to make this holiday season more comfortable, physically and emotionally.

1) STOP BODY CHECKING

            Body checking involves doing repetitive behaviors to assess your body’s shape or weight. Body checking behaviors include:

• Frequently weighing
• Measuring your body, either with measuring tools or your hands
• Pinching and squeezing “problem” areas
• Staring in the mirror for long periods of time, especially from all angles
• Taking multiple pictures to compare to your past or future self, or to assess current body shape/weight

Body checking behaviors can make us feel like we’re in control of our body shape because we are constantly aware of it, and they contribute dramatically to lower body image satisfaction. A commitment to avoiding these behaviors and replacing them with other, more effective coping strategies can get our bodies off our minds long enough for us to either not hate them, or not think about them obsessively.

For more info on how to understand and correct body checking behaviors, see https://emilyprogram.com/blog/body-checking-and-body-avoidance/.

2) EXPOSURE THERAPY

            Practice practice practice. Do the things that scare you! Start by making a body image fear pyramid from least scary at the bottom to most scary at the top. Examples can include: being in photographs, wearing a bathing suit at the beach with family, wearing shorts or more revealing clothing when it’s hot outside (or just because you want to!), attending a fun event even though you’re feeling insecure, etc.

Here is how an exposure pyramid would work in practice: If wearing a tank top is hard for you because you feel insecure about your arms, wear a tank top around the house when you’re alone. Do this frequently until you are used to what your body looks and feels like in more revealing clothing. Then, wear a tank top to a low-stakes environment like the grocery store, and work your way up to wearing a tank top at work or school in front of people you know and like.

3) DIVERSIFY SOCIAL MEDIA AND TV CONSUMPTION

            The media we consume matters! Celebrities, reality stars, and influencers are often heavily edited, either by filters and photoshop, and/or by cosmetic procedures like plastic surgery, fillers, veneers, spray tans, and Botox. This is not a condemnation of any of these things—do what you want to with your body! It is just not helpful to compare our unedited bodies to edited bodies.

Follow people who are your size or larger (even MUCH larger). When we diversify the kinds of bodies we’re seeing on a consistent basis, the urge to compare can decrease and we can become more used to seeing cellulite, rolls, acne or skin pigmentation, etc., which then in turn can help us to feel okay about having those features ourselves.

Avoid or limit media that contributes to body dissatisfaction, envy, and/or comparisons. A TV show that may not bother one person may create intense feelings of envy and self-loathing in another person. Notice how you’re feeling as you scroll social media, and as you watch TV and movies. Are you feeling sad? Insecure? Envious? Are you comparing your body to on-screen and off-screen bodies more often after consuming this media? Check in with yourself about how much you can handle.

Unfollow anyone who does not make you feel neutral or better about yourself. Hate-following is not helpful. Following someone with a much smaller body is only going to perpetuate body dissatisfaction and obsessive thoughts. It can be difficult to let go of your favorite accounts or TV shows, and their impact should be considered if your body image plummets when viewing this media.

4) WEAR CLOTHING THAT FITS AND IS FUNCTIONAL

            Throw out clothes that no longer fit you. Cleaning out our closets can illicit so many emotions—fear, anger, insecurity, sadness, grief and longing, to name a few. Take it slowly if you need to, but get rid of those pants that haven’t fit in two years. They are a reminder that your body has changed and may even be encouraging unhealthy behaviors such as restriction, purging, and/or over-exercising so that you can fit into those clothes again.

            Buy comfortable clothing in a bigger size if needed (yes, even underwear!). Being physically uncomfortable in our clothing only draws our attention even more to our bodies and how they look/feel. It can be similar to having a rock in our shoes—if our pants are too tight, we are going to fixate on that discomfort and think of little else. Wearing clothing that fits appropriately and is comfortable will allow you to get out of your brain and into your life! This includes wearing shorts instead of pants in the summertime. You deserve to feel comfortable and confident in your clothes no matter your size. Thrifting can be a great way to expand your wardrobe without hurting your wallet.

            Try on clothing without facing a mirror. Focus on the fit and function—is the fabric comfortable, or scratchy? Can you sit, stand, kneel, walk without issue in the item? Is it too small? No need to stare in the mirror at all the places the garment might not fit well. Is it too big? No need to keep it on! Once you are satisfied that the clothing meets your needs, then see if you like how it looks.  

5) PRACTICE BODY NEUTRALITY AND NON-JUDGMENTAL STANCE

            If your thoughts about your body are consistently negative, judgmental, and bullying, it can feel inauthentic to look in the mirror and tell yourself that you love your body. Instead of attempting to shift your thinking from loathing to loving, shift your thoughts to neutral with factual, descriptive statements.

Examples include: “I have a body”, “I have two eyes; they are brown”, “My hair is curly”, “My thighs are touching”, “My arms have cellulite”, “I am tall”. This practice can help us to focus less on perceived flaws or even body aspirations, and more on the reality of what our body looks like in the moment without judgment. Realistically, as we are looking at our bodies, we cannot immediately change much about them. We cannot shrink at will or wish away our stretch marks. Acknowledging our bodies as they are can help shift us away from criticism and into neutrality and even gratitude.

We can improve your body image, I promise! A commitment to changing even one of these things can improve quality of life. For further information about improving body image, check out More Than a Body by the Kite sisters. If you believe you or someone you know is struggling with body image distress, body dysmorphia, or an eating disorder, please contact us or other eating disorder professionals who follow a Health At Every Size and anti-diet treatment model.